I Made This today

I’ve dated models for brands. Jeans. High end clothing. I am a nobody, really. I didn’t meet them at work I just walked around. Waiting. For this feeling. There’s something else there when a man is in love. A very real kind of passion for life that is so close to death. Anything else, feels less lived.

The other side. The now. Its that constant pull like magnets across marble top. I can’t, I can’t fall in love I need to study. I need to fix my life. I need to worry about me. I need to fall in love with me. The grown up love will come later if, at all. We’ll sit in rocking chairs and talk about what fools we were with other people. Now. Just sitting frames a sense of love.

We both fall. Adam and Eve, fell. Icarus fell. We fall from our own gravity when we fall in love. We are somehow less and also more. The beautiful thing we tried to describe for thousands of years. It’s not a perfect love. It’s not, enough sometimes just to love. We have to have all the things to be in love and to be loved. Especially, in Phoenix Arizona. Especially, when you’re forty. You should have three houses and five cars and not f—- EVERYONE they’ve known or their friends have known. But, with the exception that their friends should also be jealous of them for f——- you. 🙄🤣😱💔 Just, walk away Kenzie. Keep waiting.