Made This Yesterday

I started thinking about my ex girlfriend and so I just spilled a bunch of ink on the page. Watched it dance through her eyes. I will fall in love again. Someday. I don’t, blame all women for some selfish woman. Or the other selfish women I’ve dated. I should blame myself. Not all the time. Not forever. Nothing is forever anyways. Almost died in January from a heart attack and you know what? Who I’ve loved didn’t flash across my mind. I had no strings and I was free to die peacefully.

Love itself. Is why, we do all the things. I don’t know, about right now. Post-death and on heart meds. I don’t know what love is like that unconditional positive regard for another. I have it for others but it was rare it was mutual. You know why? You know, right? We are not a community of individuals finding love we are just, strangers taking as much as we can.